Acting on Gratitude

I’ve always had a sense of gratefulness for most of my life. However, I believe when I really started to understand the true meaning of being grateful was after I went to an 8 week wilderness therapy program in Utah at 15 years old.

I had spent 8 weeks waking up at the crack of dawn, eating mostly dehydrated rice and beans, hiking long distances every day with 30-50 lbs on my back, slept under the stars or under a tarp if it was raining, no pillow or blankets only a sleeping bag, one pair of clothes per week, had zero communication with any of my friends, and could only communicate with my family by written letter once every 2 weeks.

During that experience I learned a sense of being grateful for all that I had in life. I grew a massive appreciation for the stars and the world around me. But after this I was sent to a residential treatment center and I think one of my core memories in life was going to bed that first night. I remember so vividly how incredibly grateful I was putting my head on that pillow for the first time. I remember absolutely bawling my eyes out, thinking about how lucky I was to lay my head on a pillow. From that moment on I vowed to be grateful for every little thing I had in my life, and I was.

I have always had so many things to be grateful for, and I was grateful for them, but I never actually appreciated or respected them. Sure I was grateful for all my family had done for me, but I didn’t appreciate or respect them. I was grateful for having a bed, but I didn’t ever go to bed on time or wake up on time. I was grateful for having a roof over my head, but I abused drugs and alcohol under it constantly and damaged/ruined the property regularly. I was grateful for the people in my life at the time, but I hurt them daily.

Since being sober (from everything), I have begun to learn how to appreciate and respect the things I’m grateful for. I’m learning how to appreciate all my family has done for me. And to respect that, I’m fighting every day to stay sober (even though in the end I’m mostly doing it only for myself). I’m learning how to appreciate the friends I have. And to respect them, I act as a trusted person they can count on to be there for them and I am open and vulnerable to them so that they are comfortable being that way with me. I appreciate the roof over my head and respect it by not destroying property, keeping it clean, and not taking advantage of it.

The list literally goes on forever. But learning to respect and appreciate things, all things, has become such a valuable part of my life during this drastic change in it. Without appreciation it’s hard to respect the things we’re grateful for.

The major difference between the two, for me, is that gratitude is the FEELING of being grateful, whereas appreciation is ACTING on your feeling of gratitude and showing someone you are grateful.

Be grateful and appreciate what you’re grateful for. And remember, you’re not alone and you never have to be ❤️